While #metoo landed Finland with  accusations towards a male film mogul and rape story from a female  parlamentarian plus a  tv document over olympian Patrik Sjöberg sexually abused by his Finnish stepfather-coach, my own #metoo has again risen in to my minds.


‘Grandmother has harassed the sexual development of a pubescent boy’.



>The consequenses will last on my mind over this year ahead, especially what last year happened, womens’ words on my ears: are you threatening, go to apro helper, now go to a rounded room, now shut your mouth and on the new years eve comment stop stalking. All those three women today are silent but I’m not. Especially on the net forums.


In just two years I’ve written over 500 comments here and on the square forum almost 1300 and the commenting will continue.


all those feelings, love hate fear guilt shame mercy forgiveness healing, rolling around your head whilst you ought to think about life today and all that offers to you tomorrow.

but no..


I’ve failed to live a normal life.  just a rebel with some cause.


why have you chosen a road where to whip yourself. why just cry out the memories.

why just flee into the woods, to new zea land, just vanish yourself.


Womens’ Day coming soon, how to survive it, by numbing or shouting aloud?.


How to start on an empty table.

To agree what’s happened,  to admit it and go on. The way how women react on this, that’s not my problem.  They only have chance to say me: ‘Tell me more’ or ‘Shut your mouth!’.

edit 6.2.2018 15:40

Today an icy discussion with a female civil servant .

Telling her I’m dountless(tykylevits lannistumaton YouTube video)


The grandma verbal incest context is now following me in all my contacts.

Shut your mouth order from  a woman  last fall hanging over my head and I’m stuck into a ‘James Dean rebel without a cause’ like -situation.

The truth hurts, but numbing doesn’t help.