Yesterday, cried throughout the day. Still alive after a long period without posting here. Havin the maintenance SSRI pills ended last week and no new receipt for them, symptoms driven me to the sensitive mood just because no sudden stop not allowed for that medication. Desided to stop using them after checking the feeling this morning after crying all day yesterday. The recent pass away of older brother culminated yesterday with a remembrance event.

Passed away is also a war veteran whose agressive behavior against me I’ve told earlier. He went silent at once after I told police the man shouted at me at the stairs: ‘I manage you the devilish commander to the room of lunatics!’ The other incident with the lady mentioned above when she got angry and shouted: ‘it’s viiring with you, go the the mental care!!’. Combined that with my grandma’s sexually explicit words towards grandson causing long effect ptsd. Not to mention that passed-away old woman who shouted at me at the stairs: ‘now you little boy came fucking(vittuilemaan) to wrong people!!

Angry 🤬 birds flying over my head, ironically 🤪

Angry neighbor woman 80 years still around, however she shamed herself badly some time ago and spending her time now somewhere. Had to visit(again) at the start of this Year a mental health nurse(female) to clear my minds over woman’s behavior. And just after that, told a female tenant ‘just call the ambulance’ after seeing neighbor woman drunken at the stairs and the tenant told she has also fallen at her home. So her partner called 911. Paramedics metered three promilles. And after that the tenant contacted me and told me what that share holder woman had told them about me and she told me they don’t believe those arguments at all. House manager then commented of that to me.. plus house chairman gotten speechless. All that related to which truth a police superintendent years ago sarcastically said to me: ‘you have made the biggest mistake, you have jumped off the toboggan of a narcissist’.

Woman plus alcohol plus violence, it’s a taboo not to be exposed.

The tears I rained yesterday, they were nonetheless good for my soul.realise now when woke up for a new day with the download away. Even activated me writing all this up. I still survive til I pass away.

To be cont..